Posting something like this is COMPLETELY unlike me but the few text messages I just received are fuel to the fire that I’m better than what I make myself out to be in my own head.

I’ve been struggling with my weight and liking my own appearance but no matter how much weight I lost or how “tiny” I looked, I was never good enough in my own head. It was nice having someone tell me that I was beautiful, thin, and that I didn’t need to lose anymore weight because I was perfect the way that I am type of thing.. At least until you find out that you’ve been being lied to about everything, then that shoots everything back down the drain.

The texts I received from this person (whom meant quite a bit to me) are what made me crack just now, they’re what made me realize that I’m not the monster I see myself to be.

These are the text messages:

"Maybe if you weren’t a fat cunt, I’d have met you :)"

"You know why I didn’t like repeatedly doing the mirror thing? It’s hard to think of lies constantly. You’re just a fat, Ariel wannabe that nobody will ever love. Know why? Cause there’s nothing at all to love about you. Literally nothing."

(The mirror thing was being in front of a mirror and pointing out all the good qualities about me. So much for that, huh?”

And the third text was, “I’m actually for once being honest. It’s good to get it off my chest. I’m happy you’ve found your Prince Eric, cause honestly, nobody will want you ever. Damaged, broken, sloppy seconds.”

I used to see myself as grotesque, fat, and ugly. I used to rely on other people telling me I was beautiful in order to feel okay about myself but that changed today. 

In defending myself to that person that once meant the world to me, I realized, I’m not any of those things. 

I’m not fat, I’m not disgusting, I’m not gross, I’m not ugly, and I’m not “sloppy seconds” as he chose to put it.

It’s a shame it took this to get me to realize it but this realization had to happen in one way or another. 

Everyone deserves to feel beautiful no matter what you look like. And NO ONE deserves to have such awful things said to them by anyone, let alone a person you cared about more than anything in the world. 

This was my turn to realize that I need to look in the mirror and see that there’s more than meets the eye. I see that now.

September 25, 2013
26 notes · #myself #self image #you are beautiful #i'm sorry this is so long #i'm just really annoyed #and sad #and mad
  1. sailor-lyndsay reblogged this from himynameispauline
  2. uncertainlyabsolute reblogged this from himynameispauline
  3. ifitburnsyou said: please don’t listen to this guy, no one deserves to be told things like that. you’re beautiful!
  4. simting said: U go lady! U r a skinny mini! Whoever that was that sent those texts clearly has a problem with their own self image! Fuck em! U r quite a catch for anyone! And not in the slightest sloppy seconds!
  5. spillled-emotions said: You’re very beautiful and you have a great body, don’t let anyone let you down darling <3
  6. hardpromises said: I think you are absolutely gorgeous. Dont let a stupid assface get you down.
  7. neckerdeeper reblogged this from himynameispauline
  8. himynameispauline posted this